A final word on London trains

Trains in London are far more efficient than those at home, but it took me a few days to work out about "the gap" The London underground trains are wonderful, you never have to wait for more than a few minutes to catch one and if you let yourself be carried along by the crowd, chances are you'll end up on the platform you were looking for. The thing that made me laugh though, is that as soon as a train is pulling into a station, the recorded voice in the carriage repeats over and over "mind the gap" and to be honest, the first time I went on the tube I thought, "gee, I better be careful when I get out", so I went to take a big step, however "the gap" was virtually non existent. Every time I rode the tube and the man said, "Mind the gap, mind the gap, mind the gap", I looked again, but at no time was there a gap that was significant, so I started to wonder what other gap he could be referring to?

Maybe it was "the gap" between the jeans and the bum cracks of the groups of young blokes waiting on the stations? Maybe it was "the gap" between my nose and the sweaty armpits of the peak hour business men holding onto the ceiling straps? Maybe it was "the gap" between my ear and the intimate conversation being conducted by the girl sitting next to me chatting loudly on her mobile phone. As I sat on the train, pondering this riddle I looked up and smiled at an elderly lady sitting opposite me, a big green Granny Smith apple in her hand and as she smiled back, she exposed a giant hole where her two front teeth should have been, just as the recorded message said "Mind the gap, mind the gap, mind the gap" and I realised that the message wasn't for me at all!